Friday, March 24

Incommunicado...

Blog suspended until further notice.

Bamboos ahead.

Wednesday, March 22

Sweden... Taiwan... USA... and India, of course

After facing the ravages of the Department of Agricultural and Food engineering for over 3 and a half years, of being threatened by professors, being de-registered and re-registered, of reporting to the HoD with a seemingly sorry face, of watching batchmates being flunked to maintain the pulse of the faculty's ego, I did the brave thing. I took both my courses outside the department (I still have to face the Grand viva and the Project eval). Both these courses are in the School of Management, in fields in which I want to build my forte in the future. Its not that such aspirations have made me attend more classes or take them more seriously or anything....

Today evening (5.30-7.30 pm) we had the class for Engineering Entrepreneurship.The professor is the CTO (Chief Technology Officer) of IIT, Kharagpur. Yes, yes... we have one... I too found out only recently.Today the class was surprisingly full ( I assume if I could be there, anybody could) and a tad unruly. As the classroom lost all interest as the clock neared 7:30, the poor guy was trying hard to explain his slides (ironically, on motivation).

Finally after warning for a couple of times, he gets exasperated. Says: "Please behave yourself, and understand that this is the first time I am taking a course in India. I have previously taken many courses in Sweden, Taiwan and the US. This is the first time I am taking a course here, please behave yourself". At this point the students look at him incredulity of his statement and after it sinks in to them what he actually said, they don't even bother to understand it and start guffawing loudly. The poor man is hassled but still tudges on with his slides. And in one of the most ironical moments I have seen in classroom for any professor, the power goes out (later realised it went out in the whole campus).

Hahahaha... poor guy. Standing there... was just talking about India. And the wily one that she is, she gave him the taste of India. Thank goodness it was very dark, else one could've seen the redness in his cheeks as the students hooted and just left the class.

It'was soooo much fun!

----------------******---------******----------******---------******---------------------



As I was writing all this, wishing to potray initially how "It happens only in India" jingle still holds, C-125 sent me this article link. I am just copying the introductory paragraph:

America’s oldest institution of higher learning, Harvard University, will soon have India as a subject. And teachers will include visiting faculty members like Nobel laureate Amartya Sen, Gardiner professor of history at Harvard Sugata Bose and Harvard Business School professor Tarun Khanna.
This sets me off laughing. Imagine the hallowed classrooms of the illustrious institution. In the darkened classrooms, the glow of the projector falls on the audience. They are being shown 'India' in a nice capsulated form. By the some of the shining sons and daughters of the nation. I wonder what they would learn... What would the lab be like? Would they have specimens?

"On your left is the stuffed specimen of Engineerias IITius. He (99% of the time, the specimen is male) mostly sleeps on whatever surface he finds, and can also go without food and sleep for extended periods of time when they spot Pandas with bamboos in their paws. Their pet fear is failure"

"On your right is Bloodsuckerus Netais. A species which thrives on other subordinate species. Mostly sports white colour garments, is led by a foreign bred species and finds indigenous uses for fodder and guns. Some large specimens has a fetish for shoes and may possess upto 600 pairs of various types."

"Next up is Cricketix Inditeamus. Clad in blue, these are amongst the most thriving of the species and is known throughout India's 1 billion fauna. A good number genetically advanced specimens of the Cricketix genus are from this country. In a recent experiment by Moronus Bccis (pronounced as: mOrOnus bitches), mixing up the team with a senior specimen from Cricketix Ausiteamus caused the latter to injure a finger in its paw."

Seriously, I really don't see what I can learn about other cultures from such classes. I am sure the grey hairs at Harvard would have their reasons. But I sure want to see the recording of such a class.

Why recording, you ask?? Why attend an extra class? :D


Mera Bharat mahaaan!



P.S.Damn! I wanted to make this a serious post about India and its perceptions.... but what the heck!

.



Monday, March 20

200 things that you might have done

Saw this in a few blogs... Liked it... Thought i'd put it up. Things I have done in Red. Things I have done similar to description in Green. And one particular thing I want to do in Blue.
Score are: 51 10 1

And this score is going to increase WAY more...


01.Bought everyone in the pub a drink
02. Swam with wild dolphins
03. Climbed a mountain
04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
05. Been inside the Great Pyramid
06. Held a tarantula.
07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
08. Said ‘I love you’ and meant it
09. Hugged a tree
10. Done a striptease
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Stayed up all night long, and watch the sun rise
15. Seen the Northern Lights
16. Gone to a huge sports game.
17.Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
18. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
19. Touched an iceberg
20. Slept under the stars
21. Changed a baby’s diaper
22. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
23. Watched a meteor shower
24. Gotten drunk on champagne
25. Given more than you can afford to charity
26. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
27. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment (Siggh... the librarian sure still remembers me)
28. Had a food fight
29. Bet on a winning horse
30. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
31. Asked out a stranger
32. Had a snowball fight
33. Photocopied your bottom on the office photocopier
34. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
35. Held a lamb
36. Enacted a favorite fantasy
37. Taken a midnight skinny dip
38. Taken an ice cold bath
39. Had a meaningful conversation with a beggar
40. Seen a total eclipse
41. Ridden a roller coaster
42. Hit a home run ('Match'-winning Six runs!)
43. Fit three weeks miraculously into three days
44. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
45. Adopted an accent for an entire day
46. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
47. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment (Yes, there was a time when...)
48. Had two hard drives for your computer
49. Visited all 50 states
50. Loved your job for all accounts
51. Taken care of someone who was shit faced
52. Had enough money to be truly satisfied (10 bucks in my pocket... But was grinning all the
way!)
53. Had amazing friends
54. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
55. Watched wild whales
56. Stolen a sign
57. Backpacked in Europe
58. Taken a road-trip (Was over in a day...)
59. Rock climbing
60. Lied to foreign government’s official in that country to avoid notice
61. Midnight walk on the beach (Sat on teh beach with friends till late night)
62. Sky diving.
63.Visited Ireland
64. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love
65. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger’s table and had a meal with them
66. Visited Japan
67. Benchpressed your own weight
68. Milked a cow
69. Alphabetized your records (MP3 folders surely count)
70. Pretended to be a superhero (long time back... don't ask)
71. Sung karaoke
72. Lounged around in bed all day
73. Posed nude in front of strangers
74. Scuba diving
75. Got it on to “Let’s Get It On” by Marvin Gaye
76. Kissed in the rain
77. Played in the mud
78. Played in the rain
79. Gone to a drive-in theater
80. Done something you should regret, but don’t regret it
81. Visited the Great Wall of China
82. Discovered that someone who’s not supposed to have known about your blog has discovered
your blog
83. Dropped Windows in favor of something better
84. Started a business
85. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
86. Toured ancient sites
87. Taken a martial arts class
88. Swordfought for the honor of a woman
89. Played Counter-Strike(& AOE & IGI & MOHAA & NFS & HL2) for more than 6 hours
straight
90. Gotten married
91. Been in a movie
92. Crashed a party
93. Loved someone you shouldn’t have
94. Kissed someone so passionately it made them dizzy
95. Gotten divorced
96. Had sex at the office
97. Gone without food for 5 days
98. Made cookies from scratch (Does cake count? While your helping your elder sis i.e. :D)
99. Won first prize in a costume contest (Was a ventriloquoist)
100. Ridden a gondola in Venice
101. Gotten a tattoo (Not permanent though, some stuff in goa...)
102. Found that the texture of some materials can turn you on
103. Rafted the Snake River
104. Been on television news programs as an “expert”
105. Got flowers for no reason
106. Masturbated in a public place
107. Got so drunk you don’t remember anything
108. Been addicted to some form of illegal drug
109. Performed on stage (Yay!)
110. Been to Las Vegas
111. Recorded music
112. Eaten shark
113. Had a one-night stand
114. Gone to Thailand
115. Seen Siouxsie live
116. Bought a house
117. Been in a combat zone
118. Buried one/both of your parents
119. Shaved or waxed your pubic hair off
120. Been on a cruise ship
121. Spoken more than one language fluently
122. Gotten into a fight while attempting to defend someone
123. Bounced a check
124. Performed in Rocky Horror
125. Read - and understood - your credit report (As of now, it is verrry simple)
126. Raised children
127. Recently bought and played with a favorite childhood toy
128. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
129. Created and named your own constellation of stars
130. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
131. Found out something significant that your ancestors did
132. Called or written your Congress person
133. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
134. …more than once? - More than thrice?
135. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
136. Sang loudly in the car, and didn’t stop when you knew someone was looking
137. Had an abortion or your female partner did
138. Had plastic surgery
139. Survived an accident that you shouldn’t have survived
140. Wrote articles for a large publication
141. Lost over 100 pounds
142. Held someone while they were having a seizure
143. Piloted an airplane
144. Petted a stingray
145. Broken someone’s heart
146. Helped an animal give birth
147. Been fired or laid off from a job
148. Won money on a T.V. game show
149. Broken a bone
150. Killed a human being (I wish)
151. Gone on an African photo safari
152. Ridden a motorcycle ( Yeah baby! )
153. Driven any land vehicle at a speed of greater than 100mph (greater than 100 kmph anyway )
154. Had a body part of yours below the neck pierced
155. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol (NCC in 6th class :D)
156. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
157. Ridden a horse
158. Had major surgery
159. Had sex on a moving train
160. Had a snake as a pet
161. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
162. Slept through an entire flight: takeoff, flight, and landing
163. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours
164. Visited more foreign countries than Indian states
165. Visited all 7 continents
166. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
167. Eaten kangaroo meat
168. Fallen in love at an ancient Mayan burial ground
169. Been a sperm or egg donor
170. Eaten sushi
171. Had your picture in the newspaper
172. Had 2 (or more) healthy romantic relationships for over a year in your lifetime
173. Changed someone’s mind about something you care deeply about
174. Gotten someone fired for their actions
175. Gone back to school
176. Parasailed
177. Changed your name
178. Petted a cockroach
179. Eaten fried green tomatoes
180. Read The Iliad (First book I issued in the CL... Forgot most of it though...)
181. Selected one “important” author who you missed in school, and read (Will do this my whole life)
182. Dined in a restaurant and stolen silverware, plates, cups because your apartment needed
them
183. …and gotten 86′ed from the restaurant because you did it so many times, they figured out it was you
184. Taught yourself an art from scratch (Amateur greeting card making! :D)
185. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
186. Apologized to someone years after inflicting the hurt
187. Skipped all your school reunions
188. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language (Singapore-la!)
189. Been elected to public office
190. Written your own computer language
191. Thought to yourself that you’re living your dream
192. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
193. Built your own PC from parts (Love you, my super-problematic comp.!)
194. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn’t know you
195. Had a booth at a street fair(Some fete...)
196: Dyed your hair
197: Been a DJ
198: Found out someone was going to dump you via LiveJournal
199: Written your own role playing game
200: Been arrested


P.S. Some of them have not been answered intentionally

Saturday, March 18

When the skies were purple....

Sometime I wish I had been born in the medieval ages (latter half of the previous millenium) in Europe (or mebbe I already did and am really just longing for that lifetime). I love the no nonsense attitude that those people had. Everything was fixed in a person's life the moment he was born. As a peasant boy you could become and apprentice at some skill shop (like blacksmith etc) at best. Else you could serve as the servant of the Chef of the Esquire of the Baron of the friggin land. It was simple. No ambition required. You would have a rugged drunk as a father (so you wouldn't have to love him or respect him too much). Guys of my size would have made an excellent right-hand man of the wily bully up the street. And by the time I was 21, frequent fights would've made it unnecessary for me to have a dentist.

Also amazing is what I would have to do even if I was a member of the intelligensia. As an artist I would have to paint potraits of rich fat balding nobles and make them look like debonaire conquerors of yore else paint vivid potrayals of what today would be called PG-18. As a musician, I would write pieces as and when they struck me and dedicate them to people and places to gain money and glory (Bach's brandenburg concerts are an excellent eexample of this). Medicine would also be supremely lucrative. Setting a bone would have very simple instructions: Twist, pull, pivot the affected joint/ligament until there is a resounding crack. The side-advantage of medicine would be exploring new frontiers of medicine by experimenting with various herbs (if you know what I mean). Best would've been science. There was no perceivable way in which I would've been busy. My sole duty would've been to learn how old farts talk about the purpose of this world and the related metaphysics... of course, I would occassionally have to wait for the apple to fall on my head.

But, as I was telling Psycho and C-125 today, I personally wanted to be in the Emperor's Elite torture division. Any stupid idiot would be slapped just for the heck of it. And some morons could be hung from a tree by their arms and then beaten with an iron pestle... Ya just imagine... There is this tree just in front of my room... with two thick gnarled branches hanging out from either side... Two amazingly stupid imbeciles who dared to displease the Baron would be hanging from there.. One of them with his arms strung up to a branch and the other with his feet to the other. And me with the Iron pestle.

I know that by this point, the scene would've become very disturbing for many of you. Where as some of you repressed frustrated souls would actually want the pestle in your hand and the persons hanging there to resemble someone you know.

But as I said... I only wish I had been born in that age. Times when morons would not be suffered for the sake of decency.


Publisher's note: The author of this article is known to be a very gentle, loving and caring person. These thoughts potrayed above are, but just the manifestations of the dark undercurrents in his psyche. The publisher wishes to categorically state that the Author has never intentionally harmed any living soul. Except red ants... and them friggin mosquitoes. *cough cough* and the occassional mental strain on his wingies.

Friday, March 10

I know not who I am...

I know not who I am…
I know not who I am…

Nor am I the believer in the mosque
Nor am I in the rituals of the infidel
Nor am I the pure in the impure
Nor am I inherent in the Vedas
Nor am I present in intoxicants

Nor am I the lost, nor the corrupt
Nor am I union, nor grief
Nor am I intrinsic in the pure/impure
Nor am I of the water, nor of the land
Nor am I fire, nor air

I know not who I am…
I know not who I am…

Nor am I from Arabia, nor Lahore
Nor am I from the Indian city of nagaur
Nor a hindu, nor a turk

Nor did I create the difference of faith
Nor did I create adam and eve
Nor did I name myself

Beginning or the end, I know just the self
Do not acknowledge duality
There’s none wiser than I…

I know not who I am…
I know not who I am…

I am not moses or the pharaoh
I am not sleep or wakefulness
I am not fire or the wind
I do not stay in Nether
I am not inertia or travel


Who is this Bullah shah?

I know not who I am…
I know not who I am.



The sufi poet Bulleh shah was a resident of Kasur, Pakistan in the 17th-18th century. He wrote mainly in Punjabi


This is a translation of one of his works, which was given music by Rabbi Shergill, a newly successful singer
The translation was taken (pai
nstakingly) from the music video.

Saturday, March 4

Wednesday, March 1

Intruder!

BBbbRRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr......

I hate snakes... I loathe them... and I love the geezer who gave them the worst role in the bible.

This outpouring has been caused by the experiences of the past week...

Sometime last week:

My room neighbour (C-125), walks down our dear wing corridor (ground floor). He has just woken up and is breathing in dollops of fresh morning (read 11 am) air. He walks past C-122 and notices a 3 foot long greenish-silverish thing just below the cement corridor. He pauses, realises its a snake. Not just A snake, but a snake with its fangs deep into a fat frog. As neither are moving, he assumes both are dead. To share this viewing pleasure with other wingies, he calls out to a couple of people. As he does so, he notices that he can see the pulse on the frog's upturned body. Slowly realising that this means the snake just bit the frog meaning the slithery bastard is still alive, he takes a step back. At this juncture, our slimy friend decides to open its mouth out wide baring its fangs et al. Poor C-125 just froze. And before a voice (let alone a scream) could come out from his sunken gut, the biblical scourge slithers right off into the ground in front of our wing. At this point C-123 finally comes out to avail of the viewing pleasure mentioned above and finds that it has slithered away leaving behind a dumbstruck C-125.

At this very point I enter the scene (I had gone to class... i think :D). And I am narrated the entire happenings of the past 5-10 minutes. After looking at the upturned frog (still beating its vein), a chill last seen or heard of in the Ice age runs right down my spine "BBbbRRrrrrr". C-123 bravely goes out into the ground with his matchsticks and sets the dry leaves aflame. For the next hour we breath in smoke as the dry leaves on the ground in front of our rooms burns away to glory. The hostel sweeper is instructed to throw away the frog (preferably into the flames).

As the flames died out leaving behind the blackened ground, All of decide that we should be more careful as this very same snake was spotted the previous day by another junior. There are discussions as to whether this is a poisonous variety (a minor detail which simply spikes my already risen hair). There are arguments as to if it has enough goodies only to make a meal or for a human too. Slowly as we all melt away into our rooms, we try to forget the happenings. But later in the night, as C-127 wakes up to breath in his fresh dollops of air, he knocks on my door lightly and asks me to come out... I first open the door a little... peek out to see if he is ready to run or anything which would imply only one thing. As he was not, I step out and follow his pointed hand. Our dear scourge of eve was right where he was hoping his lunch would be... sprawled out 3 feet. Glistening brownish in the flickering tubelight of the corridor. Gulp No.1 ... Gulp No.2.... The bloody reptile started slithering out into the ground again... Gulp No.3... And it was gone... Gulp No.4... and no traces seen... Gulp Gulp Gulp...

Till now I was only scared. Now I was petrified. Every night (even day) whenever I leave the room, I peak out with ears perked up for any sounds. I have reduced water consumption evening onwards as our bathrooms have been the best place to find frogs. Why the hell are there are so many frogs? If only we were a medical school...

Bottomline: I Hate snakes. I Loather snakes. I am SHIT SCARED of snakes.