Wednesday, October 18

Give me justice...

I really am offended today. I feel that there is no justice in this world anymore. It is a sad sad day in the history of the world of blogs, my dear friends... A sad sad day.

The reason is THIS.

Go visit it first.

Have you seen the photos of the flowers? Those blue bonnety flowers? What about the loooongg list of ingredients for all those recipes? and the Photos that taunt you if you are a poor hungry soul gawking at them at the middle of the night. I am sure these must not be revolting to you. On the contrary, any of the fairer sex out there might have quite enjoyed the flowers. And the desis abound would be copy-pasting those recipes (if they have the taste). Which is why I repeat again... Give me justice!!!

For, ladies and gentlemen, that very blog belongs to my loving , caring, doting elder sister. "Oh really? How nice yaar!" "Abe, Didi ka blog hai... sahi hai be..." ... Arrgghhh...

I spend over a year carefully manipulating and scheming on my blog. A selective assortment of posts interspersed with humour, memories and of course some sensitive moments (According to m, this should be more often). I scheme and plot, design and deploy, ponder and write... I even design (proudly so!) my own blog template with Fantabulous Calvin and the Incorrigble Hobbes as the theme characters (A duo that everyone loves to love). By doing all this jugglery and trickery, I manage to garner a select group of readers (thank you guys! **sniff sniff**) and somehow make my blog counter touch the higher side of 2000.

And here, this sister of mine... starts her blog this late summer. Writes about recipes and only recipes (there is one about some blue-coloured hat-shaped flowers too). Has listed god-knows-how-many similar recipe-crazy blogger friends of hers! (if any of you are reading this, I am just bashing her blog... Welcome to mine. :D, Do read. Comment. Repeat.)

And by doing all this, not only does she have a group of foodloggers... ahaa, nice word--> see, In how many foodlogs would you find an instantaneous contribution to her majesty's language? ... Like I was saying, not only does she have a group of foodloggers who visit regularly and start chirping "Oh... What a nice recipe!!! I'll surely try this out" ... "I had the same recipe book, but its collecting dust. I'll dig out that recipe and add some of that dust and kitchen grime as flavouring" ... "I had tried a similar sambhar when I was desperately short of anything better to make. But I had reduced 0.0000000001 grammes of tamarind and added 0.0000002 grammes of fenugreek as seasoning. I will surely try ur suggestion of toning down on the tamarind a little more!"

And you know what? They actually go and do it! Now who in god's name would actually sit and go through those gazillion foodlogs (don't believe the gazillion, go see the list on the side of my sis's blog) and make those dishes with those recommended changes take pictures and acknowledge the original author. As in, I really wonder what must go on in their minds....
Here I am ..... slicing & dicing ... dicing & slicing the spring onions when..... OOPS! A whole bunch of salted turnips meant for the sabzi finds its way into the perfectly simmering sambhar..... eeks! what will I do?? My foodlogger friends will think I am useless! They'll say I drop turnips into sambhars!... I'll be 'nipslip' for the rest of my foodlogging days!!! waaahhh!!... Wait a sec, So what if its stinks of salted turnips, my tamarind and fenugreek levels are that recommended by H. I'll filter out the turnip pieces, take a few snaps and post it. No one can 'see' an extra can of salt in it. And, now that I have tried her recipe, H will be bound till eternity to visit my blog and comment on it!! Buhahahahahahha....


Common ladies! Are there really so many of you out there who complain of not having time to cook as you work late but nevertheless you have time to go through all these blogs before cooking to find out which recipe is fast to cook and maintains your cholesterol levels? Do you really need a flower listing blog to cheer you up in those morose grey settings outside our country? Is this really happening? And why do you HAVE to use such difficult ingredient names like fenugreek and arse0fartida ... or was it asafoetida??? Hmmm... I wonder what such complex names could cook up in the hands of a novice cook....

She makes this blogging mafia of hers, doesn't even work on the template (its literally a cherry) and she gets almost 6000 visitors already??????????? She has a fan club et al?????? No! This is not fair!!!

And worse, I get to see only the snaps. :(

Give me justice......

Ammmmmaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!! Waaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!


************************************************************************************
Author's disclaimer:

Before any malicious comment is thrown out onto the public domain about how cooking is an art and one needs to actually practice it before writing about/criticising it, the author would like to state that recently due to dire need and sheer gastronomical desperation, he has learnt to cook and isn't as bad as the bangla boys . He makes it clear that the astronomical exaggerations and desperate attempt at humour is simply a nauseating effort to get back to blogging and trap some foodloggers too. This post is an outcome of sitting in the office at 2 AM and looking at photos on a sibling's blog. And ESPECIALLY this post.

Peace.


************************************************************************************


Sunday, October 15

Mulligatawny

Run little rabbit, Hurry!, Run!
No, there is no safe sheltered hole,
Stark to the sun and rain,
Run little rabbit..... Run!

Escape; the thunder, the lightning, the wind
Not; glowing eyes in the darkness; there
Save; the fur, the pink; yourself
You; have to strive and hide; fool!


Run you mangy carnal wolf
Don't hunt the furry flesh too long,
The sun , the rain on you are too
Run you mangy wolf..... RUN!

Escape; the thorns, the jagged stones,
Not; torches and shouts abound; there!
Save; your gut, your clan; yourself.
You; have to turn and run; fool!



From whom will you run you nameless fear,
Who spawned hunters and kings and seers?

You are cursed to live, to feel and act.

You; run from you, your soul; fool!