My "Canon in D major"

Johann Pachelbel's Canon in D Major.






That is the name for the piece which is playing in the background right now (embedded audio track in a web page. Funda credit: DD). This piece had been haunting me since yesterday.

It started when I was watching "The Wonder years". The protoganist, a 12 yr old Kid Kevin Arnold, enters the scene on his small cycle. Its dusk... in the suburbs. His playtime is over and he's on his way home. He stops outside a window. The glow from the house shows a few senior people watching a young kid play "Canon in D major". He stops outside and ponders:

When your a little kid, your a little bit of everything,
An Artist... Scientist... Athlete... Scholar...

Sometimes it seems like growing up is the process of giving those things up one by one.

I guess we all have one thing that we regret giving up. One thing that we really miss.
That we gave because we were too lazy or we couldn't stick it out....

or because..... we were afraid.

After this scene, in flashback mode, Kevin continues to show how he had backed out of his piano lessons (which he is actually good at) because he couldn't play "Canon in D major" as well as Ronald Hirschmuller. He practices hard and improves so much so that his tutor prefers his natural flowing style of playing to Ronald's mechanical style. But he cancels his recital and regrets that decision forever... He says:

I never did forget that Night.

I remember the light glowing from Mrs Carple's window. And I remember the darkness falling out there on the street as I was looking in.

And now, more than 20 years later, I still rememeber every note of the music that wandered out into that still night air.

The only thing is...... I can't rem how to play it anymore.

Since those words, a better part of my childhood rushed back to haunt me. The piano lessons, the singing lessons, swimming lessons (My akka would dilligently take me and promptly laughing when I would dive-bomb from the board), even art lessons for god's sake! I remembered all those hours of forced creativity and false exuberance. The energy that went into those classes. Mine & my escorts's. The hard-earned money. All those instances in which creativity and talent was to supposed to be channeled into me. To mould me into a complete personality.

The thoughts were noble. The efforts? Despicable.

But yes... Those days have left me with an appreciation. Appreciation for the finer arts. Appreciation for the nuances present in the expression of human civilization. Appreciation for the people who actually went through the process... with or without inherent talent.

As Kevin said, I guess everyone does have something that they loved, to be left behind in the process of growing up. It could've been Dancing gaily or Getting your knees green every day or Tending to that solitary flower in your balcony or Cycling around without a destination... ANYTHING. We all say growing up "sucks" or that "ignorance is bliss". But how many of us would have the courage to go back to those unfullfiled passions? To try and rekindle them with the remaining vestiges of our childhood. "Woh kaagaz ki kashti"?


In hindsight, giving up on music was a very defining part of my childhood. It was when I would let laziness truimph over one of my favourite passions. It unfortunately showcases itself in my life habits even now. Indolence.


Giving up something just because of inherent lethargy and fear of mediocrity.

Mine was music... What is yours?