Yearnings...

A friend of mine forwarded (cough cough .. ahem ahem) this poem to me... It struck me quite hard. More because I haven't come across many Tagore poems before. And certainly didn't expect something as lucid as this...

I LONG to speak the deepest words I have to say to you;
but I dare not, for fear you should laugh.
That is why I laugh at myself and shatter my secret in jest.
I make light of my pain,afraid that you should do so.

I long to tell you the truest words I have to say to you;
but I dare not,being afraid that you would not believe them.
That is why i disguise them in untruth,saying the contrary of what I mean.
I make my pain appear absurd,afraid that you should do so.

I long to use the most precious words I have for you;
but I dare not,fearing I should not be paid with like value.
That is why I give you hard names and boast of my callous strength.
I hurt you,for fear you should never know any pain.

I long to sit silent by you;
but I dare not lest my heart come out at my lips.
That is why I prattle and chatter lightly and hide my heart behind words.
I rudely handle my pain,for fear you should do so.

I long to go away from your side;
but I dare not,for fear my cowardice should become known to you.
That is why i hold my head high and carelessly come into your presence.

Constant thrusts from your eyes keep my pain fresh forever......

- Rabindranath Tagore

The full poem is called 'The Gardner'. Get full text here.