Saturday, March 18

When the skies were purple....

Sometime I wish I had been born in the medieval ages (latter half of the previous millenium) in Europe (or mebbe I already did and am really just longing for that lifetime). I love the no nonsense attitude that those people had. Everything was fixed in a person's life the moment he was born. As a peasant boy you could become and apprentice at some skill shop (like blacksmith etc) at best. Else you could serve as the servant of the Chef of the Esquire of the Baron of the friggin land. It was simple. No ambition required. You would have a rugged drunk as a father (so you wouldn't have to love him or respect him too much). Guys of my size would have made an excellent right-hand man of the wily bully up the street. And by the time I was 21, frequent fights would've made it unnecessary for me to have a dentist.

Also amazing is what I would have to do even if I was a member of the intelligensia. As an artist I would have to paint potraits of rich fat balding nobles and make them look like debonaire conquerors of yore else paint vivid potrayals of what today would be called PG-18. As a musician, I would write pieces as and when they struck me and dedicate them to people and places to gain money and glory (Bach's brandenburg concerts are an excellent eexample of this). Medicine would also be supremely lucrative. Setting a bone would have very simple instructions: Twist, pull, pivot the affected joint/ligament until there is a resounding crack. The side-advantage of medicine would be exploring new frontiers of medicine by experimenting with various herbs (if you know what I mean). Best would've been science. There was no perceivable way in which I would've been busy. My sole duty would've been to learn how old farts talk about the purpose of this world and the related metaphysics... of course, I would occassionally have to wait for the apple to fall on my head.

But, as I was telling Psycho and C-125 today, I personally wanted to be in the Emperor's Elite torture division. Any stupid idiot would be slapped just for the heck of it. And some morons could be hung from a tree by their arms and then beaten with an iron pestle... Ya just imagine... There is this tree just in front of my room... with two thick gnarled branches hanging out from either side... Two amazingly stupid imbeciles who dared to displease the Baron would be hanging from there.. One of them with his arms strung up to a branch and the other with his feet to the other. And me with the Iron pestle.

I know that by this point, the scene would've become very disturbing for many of you. Where as some of you repressed frustrated souls would actually want the pestle in your hand and the persons hanging there to resemble someone you know.

But as I said... I only wish I had been born in that age. Times when morons would not be suffered for the sake of decency.


Publisher's note: The author of this article is known to be a very gentle, loving and caring person. These thoughts potrayed above are, but just the manifestations of the dark undercurrents in his psyche. The publisher wishes to categorically state that the Author has never intentionally harmed any living soul. Except red ants... and them friggin mosquitoes. *cough cough* and the occassional mental strain on his wingies.

7 comments:

Psycho McCrazy said...

Mostly predecided life, simpler times, shorter life span (am taking it as a positive), and a little bit of Timeline thrown in. You seriously sounded like Andre Marek when you were talking about hanging someone from that tree.

I only wish I had been born in that age. Times when morons would not be suffered for the sake of decency.
Amen to that. (And I know that I am putting myself at a serious risk "amen"ing this)

Babska said...

hmmm... 'interesting thoughts'...
listening to 'everybody hurts'...

Sudarshan. A. G. said...

@Psycho: will do to be Andre Marek... but I love my ear too much!

@babushka: Been 'there' done 'that' ?

Anonymous said...

oh well at present im feeling happy that i recognised the 'timeline' thing !yes that Baron word did the trick..uhh by the waythat iron pestle thing was very scary n freaky..i wonder if ill ever feel like hitting someone like that but when i do..ill kno whom to turn to:-*
:D..chill maaro bhaiya...really!

vishal anand said...

NICE POST
For me ,this is like the stuff which u always knew but didn't know how to prove....till now that is.
Waiting for more ..

Sudarshan. A. G. said...

@ Kutti: Chilled hi hoon... Very cold, in fact :)

@vishal: Welcome welcome... One of my test subjects, welcome...

sonik said...

Hmm life in medieval Europe would sure be fun. Imagine! Chivalrous knights killing for you, loads of romantic young men around. No nagging problems of studies and career. The only things to be learned as a young woman would be arts, music, some etiquette etc etc. Visiting friends, going to the ball, never having to worry about men crossing the line, aah perfect bliss. The only problem would be the horrid diseases prevalent that time. As a peasant girl life would be a bit tough. But a Baron's daughter? Awesome! Even an innkeeper's daughter would do ( remember the Highwayman?)