A lament for my sore arse...

I guess nothing mirrors the phases of one’s life better than the way birthdays are celebrated. Although most of us would never remember our first few birthdays, the old yellowing photographs in mom’s dusty little upper shelf would tell us that those celebrations were more for your parent’s friends (and elder siblings, if u had any), than for you. Rarely would your own friends (except those in the same residential colony) be a part of the guest list. The birthday boy/girl would be relegated to the center of the room as a showpiece (not intentionally; it just happens that way). This continues for 3-5 years, depending on how obstinate the child is. It is after attending the parties of a few elder ‘bhaiyas’ & ‘didi’s’ of the colony that the child realizes: Birthdays are the BEST time to blackmail your parents <Buahahahahaha>.

Then our dear li’l angel starts demanding. “Waaaaaaahhhh!!! I want snoopy theme or Tom & jerry theme. I want that Space gun/Birthday Barbie/Thunderbird plane.” etc. The loving parent succumbs to the child’s endearing pranks. Well, most do. But some, like my father, don’t. The best time for having birthdays is when you’re going to school. The whole day seemed special. Right from the second you jumped of your bed (not stumbled of it as usual), it was your day and nothing could get in the way of that. And why wouldn’t it seem so? You will be the only person in the whole class wearing civilian clothing (picked with gingerly care over the past few weeks); you would be distributing toffees to your mates and getting smiles from teachers. I remember one particular birthday (class 8 or so). One bitch of a teacher punished me (made me & other ‘criminals’ in the front of the class) for not brining my textbook. And this after I gave her a toffee!! My classmates were scandalized!! How can a teacher do this to their friend on his birthday!!?? In retrospective, it seems normal. But at age 13, the most important day on your calendar was your birthday (Hmmm, maybe it was because it was my 13th birthday… hmmmmm.). Adolescence also brings in that tremor of hope, during the distribution of chocolates, of having eye contact or a warm handshake from that ‘certain someone’. Of course, all these years, the school will be followed by a nice party at your house in which the guest list would actually comprise your friends.

These school years seem to be a very crucial stage in deciding how a person perceives birthdays for the rest of his/her life. From my VAST experiences in books, movies & TV serials (obviously… what else would I have experience in?), I draw the following conclusions:

• If a child has had fairy-tale birthdays around this time and he is unsuccessful later in his/her life, s/he hates birthdays.


• If a child has had fairy-tale birthdays around this time and s/he is successful in his/her life, birthdays are still a time to rejoicing and togetherness.


• If an unfortunate child rarely experienced birthdays around this time and s/he is successful in life, birthdays are used more a social do than anything else (Mambo No.5!!).


• And finally, If an unfortunate child rarely experienced birthdays around this time and s/he is unsuccessful in life, s/he wouldn’t remember which day is his/her birthday.

The past five monsoons in Kharagpur have each given me a different flavour on my birthday. My birthday happens to fall just into the beginning of the year. So, in the first year, I barely knew anybody to celebrate it with. The high point in second year was a luncheon party I gave to around 20 of my first year friends. My wingies barely had any inkling that it was my birthday. Third year onwards the set routine came up. It mainly consisted of a GPL (G***d Pe Laath) at midnight and a nice dinner party in the night. Last year was the first time that I had actually gotten a ‘Proper GPL’. I wasn’t able to sit properly for the next 3-4 days. This year was even worse. As it happens, the Orientation Period (or rather the R***ing period) got over last Saturday (there were 2 rounds of GPLs for that itself) and all my dear juniors were raring to celebrate the first birthday amongst their loved seniors. And that poor old bastard turned out to be me. There were 70 guys wishing me a ‘Happy Birthday, Sir!!’ at exactly 12 o’clock. The smiles on their faces were closer to the devil than Al Pacino can ever get.

So, here I am sitting in an awkward position on my chair trying to complete this post before I go to sleep (on my belly, of course), wondering what lies ahead for me today (3 classes and a lab are amongst them). I have received many wishes (including some touching ‘status messages’) which wish me a great day and an equally joyous life. But I wish all my readers (irrespective of their birth dates) a great day 40-50 years down the line, when we are at the twilight of our lives. May you be surrounded by loved ones and an aura of a life well lived. I wish this with all my heart for all your birthdays.


Signing off with some snaps:

1>3rd bday;












2>10th bday;


3>16th bday(1st yr)










and finally 4>21st bday's beginning